La Tela di Carlotta
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A motherhood motto

Jan 31, 2018

I’m currently in the process of making books  part of my daily routine again, so I decided to start two at the same time—something I’ve never done before—and read them depending on my mood.

This time, I chose two memoirs (which is a genre I love—so personal yet so easy to relate to) and I’m in love with both: the emotional When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi, a gorgeous exploration of death, time and happiness—I was already crying at the end of the very first chapter—and the funny, yet wise and sharp Yes, Please! by Amy Poehler (I love her from one of my favourite TV shows ever, Parks and Recreation).

In this last one, I just read a quote that I absolutely loved:

I have many friends who have had natural childbirth. I applaud them. I have friends who have used doulas and birthing balls and pushed out babies in tubs and taxicabs. I have a friend who had two babies at home! In bed! Her name is Maya Rudolph! She is a goddamn baby champion and she pushed her cuties out Little House on the Prairie style!Good for her! Not for me.That is the motto women should constantly repeat over and over again. Good for her! Not for me.

Seriously now, isn’t this the motto we all need? To stop criticising each other. To stop guilting ourselves. To stop pointing fingers at each other. To start being more forgiving towards ourselves.

There’s no just one way to motherhood, I know that intellectually. But sometimes it’s hard not to compare myself to other great moms out there, the ones I deeply admire and look up to. Those who use cloth nappies (the obvious eco-friendly solution), those who cook fresh, amazing meals for their children four times a day, those who invent amazing games and become clowns to get a smile from their little ones, those who buy everything organic, those who go to family cafes to play with their kids (I seek a break from mine when I take them to those places).

There are times when I accept the (personal) challenge, when I want to go through the struggle of improving my motherhood ways for a cause I believe in, or to become a better person according to my ever-changing beliefs (after all, don’t we all learn as we go?).

All the other times, “Good for her, not for me”.

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