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Appearances do not always deceive 

Aug 27, 2015

Not everybody is honest and correct. I know it, you know it. And when dishonesty hits you in the face at the hands of somebody you considered a friend, there’s not much you can do—accept you’ve been screwed over, roll with the punches and part ways.

And even if my first instinct is to go all Liam Neeson in Taken (“I’ll look for you, I’ll find you and I’ll kill you”), truth is I get more upset at myself. For not seeing it coming and for trusting somebody who—turns out—didn’t deserve my trust. And when anger fades out, I’m left with that annoying “I should have known better”—that feeling that comes from refusing to see the signs right in front of my eyes when I meet a person or take a decision.

Who am I kidding? We don’t live in an ideal world. Most of the times appearances do NOT deceive. You CAN judge a book by its cover. The benefit of the doubt can get stuffed. Very often, your gut feeling is NOT wrong and listening to it won’t make you a bad person—maybe just a more honest, less hypocritical one.

And it’s OK. We can’t like everybody and not everybody can like us. We don’t always make a good impression on people and people don’t always make a good impression on us. We don’t always get a good feeling from from a meeting or a situation. If we don’t like somebody, we don’t have to like them. If we are unsure about somebody, we can stay away from them.

Because you know what? It’s OK. I prefer to have one less friend and one more peaceful day. I prefer not to add useless stress to an already overcomplicated life, made of imperfect people and overwhelming responsibilities.

And when I’ll be the one who people don’t like or judge too fast, I’ll make do with knowing who I am. Somebody who’s not perfect, but as honest and correct as possible, at work and in my private life. Somebody who thinks what consequences my words and actions may have on people. Somebody who can swallow her pride and admit when she’s wrong. Rarely greedy and never hypocritical. And especially, I’m somebody who lives with a clear conscience, which is more than many people can claim.

And to the person who just hit me straight in the face—she knows who she is—I’ll just say, “I’m happy with knowing I’m a better person than you are”.

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