La Tela di Carlotta
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I miss my boy! (Going from one to two kids)

Feb 4, 2017

Emily was born a month ago, but I wrote this when she was five days old. When I read it again yesterday, I decided to share it with you because out of all the emotions I thought I’d feel, I wasn’t expecting this to be the most intense! I wonder if this is something all mums feel when a second child comes along…

I’m curious to hear from you, What was your experience going from one to two kids? What did you find hard or joyful? Please, share below :-)


Today Oliver woke up when Emily was still sleeping, I ran into his room before he could get out of bed, picked him up and carried him to the living room. He put his arms around me and his head on my shoulder.

We’ve been missing each other since Emily came along.

I sat on the couch, he sat on my lap, I hugged him, he looked around—he was probably checking where Ellie was (that’s how he calls her 😍). He put his hand in my shirt (since he stopped breastfeeding he loves holding his hand on my breast, it soothes him) and sat there taking in all my kisses and cuddles (I always wish I could stop time when that happens). Just like that, he fell asleep. He slept on me for at least an hour, my arm was sore, I desperately needed to pee, we were both sweating like pigs, but I wouldn’t have moved for anything in the world.

I’ve missed my boy. So much.

If you asked me what the most difficult part of becoming a mum of two has been so far, I wouldn’t doubt: not being able to spend time with Oliver. We were together, just the two of us, every day for 21 months and 16 days. Whatever I did, I did it with him. Wherever I went, I went with him.

Since Emily arrived five days ago—and I turned again into a giant boob that dispenses milk 26 hours a day—I haven’t been able to play with Oliver, to sit with him and read a book, to spend quality one-on-one time with him.

This has been the real emotional roller coaster of becoming a mother of two. I love the amazing, exclusive connection I get to make with Emily, but my heart ached a bit every time I watched Oliver play happily with daddy, aunty or grandma while I breastfed Emily on the couch, when I heard about his amazing time at the mall with daddy while I stayed home with Emily, when grandma took him out for one of my beloved walks, when I saw his enthusiasm after building the tallest Lego tower with zia Cri.

So today, instead of letting daddy play with Oliver and finally taking some time to myself while Emily was asleep, I held my little boy. I caressed his hair, kissed his head a million times, felt his breath against my chest, watched him sleep. And for the first time in these first overwhelming five days, I felt whole again.

As all things parenthood, you learn as you go. After only five days of being a mum of two, I learnt that I need Oliver as much as he needs me. From today onward, every time I’ll have the chance to, I’ll spend time with him, I’ll put him to sleep, I’ll read a book to him, I’ll play with him, I’ll make the tallest Lego towers with him, I’ll take him out for a walk and collect stones and leaves, I’ll take him out for orange juice and croissant (his favourite kind of date!) and we’ll spend quality time together.

Because these five days reminded me just how vital (and nice!) it is to carve out one-on-one time for the people you love.

PS. Today my mind went back to this lovely poem.

Tell me what you think

Did you like it? Do you agree or disagree? I'd love to hear from you.

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The blog

I write mainly about Montessori, parenthood, and multilingualism. Here are some recent posts.

Montessori
One day a few years ago my husband came home and said, "Why don't we put a mattress on the floor in the baby room? It'd be much more natural". "Never" was my reply. That's how our Montessori journey started. Since then we've been living, breathing and applying the philosophy at home day in and day out, starting from ourselves. Because educating children starts from the parents.
Bean and seed mosaic
I'm not perfect. I'm aware
DIY yoga cards for kids
Children at the restaurant: let's recalibrate expectations
Don't ask your children to share their toys
Those "good job" that erode our children's confidence
Our Montessori birthday
Two alternatives to screens that my kids love
Using fear and threats to control children is never right!
"Stop crying!" doesn't work
Living sustainably
Living sustainably for me doesn’t only mean to have a more eco-friendly lifestyle. It means to make decisions that are sustainable for our planet, the people on it, but also for our life, our lifestyle, and our happiness. It means to take any daily chance to evolve and be happier, healthier, kinder, more responsible and more caring human beings—the only sustainable way for a meaningful future.
Face yoga is an act of self love
Why you should wear the same outfit twice on Instagram
The power of creating habits (and why you should do it, even if you then break them!)
Responsible eating is the diet of the future (Would you like to teach it to your kids?)
The power of NOT complaining: can you do it for a whole month?
Clean up your planet, please!
Infographic: 8 steps to switch to cloth nappies (a guide for reluctant parents)
A personal note on happiness
A personal note on social media
A change of life always widens your horizons
New to La Tela?
I’ve prepared collections on various topics that I’ve written over the years. Perhaps you’ll find one that interests you.

Travel

We sold everything to travel the world for two years. We're currently in New Zealand.

Books

In 2020 I wrote 4 books for the Italian collection “Gioca and Impara con il metodo Montessori” curated by Grazia Honegger Fresco. The collection is a project by Il Corriere della Sera and La Gazzetta dello Sport.

We also implemented the workshops of the last 15 volumes of the collection with Oliver and Emily.

Podcast

On my podcast, “Educare con calma”, I talk about various topics, from Montessori to sustainability. Only in Italian!

Oct 16, 2020 • 19m
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I update Instagram almost every day to be "close" to my family far away.

Why La Tela di Carlotta?
I dreamed of the name La Tela di Carlotta. One morning I woke up and in my dreams I had created a blog named just like the American novel (Charlotte's Web). Many years and endless ups and downs later, this web of thoughts and stories is my work. It took me a long time to understand what kind of online presence I wanted and today I know: I'm transparent, I show real life, I don't advertise, I only recommend sustainable brands (and not only because they pay me) and I believe in the value of my blog and my courses—because if we don't believe in the value of our work, no one will believe in it for us.
Carlotta
Carlotta dreaming of La Tela
I know! I don't want it to be over yet either.