I don’t want to spend my free time with other kids (moms can be honest with each other)

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Have you ever felt like you don’t want to see or hear other babies or toddlers when yours are in school and you finally have some time for yourself?

Well, I have! And still do. And probably will until my kids will be old enough to not scream-demand my undivided attention 24/7.

It doesn’t mean that I’m not a good mother, nor that I don’t like my friend’s children, nor that I have to find excuses to ensure it doens’t happen. Us mothers can (and should) be honest with each other!

So this is for you, mama who asks me out for coffee in the morning and shows up with your toddler.

From Monday to Friday, my kids are in school in the morning. I have these four hours and ten minutes a day for myself and my work (that’s taking away the time it takes me to walk to and back from the coffee shoop where I work. And yes, I tend to run to save a few seconds!).

Four hours and ten minutes in which I try to squeeze all the email replying, the blog writing, the event organizing, the course planning that I want to get done.

Four hours and ten minutes in which I can sit down and enjoy a coffee while listening to Jason Mraz instead of Pippi Calzelunghe.

Four hours and ten minutes in which I can hear my thoughts, sometimes get lost in them, and even put them in writing.

Four hours and ten minutes in which I can even go poop by myself.

I’m happy to give some of these four hours and ten minutes up for a meaningful ADULT conversation in a place with no toys and children. For anything that doesn’t involve interruptions, tantrums or hearing my name, which is mamma nowadays, ten million times per minute.

My dear mama friend, I love you AND your kids, but next time you meet me during my four hours and ten minutes of free time, please make sure your toddler is in school (babies are welcome as they only sleep, breastfeed and and give those awwww smiles ;-).

And if you have planned to meet me, but your plans change and your toddler is with you, please give me a heads-up: I promise I won’t find excuses, I’ll simply ask you kindly and honestly, “Do you mind if we meet up another morning when we can be just us adults?”.

Thanks, I really appreciate it, and I’m looking forward to that meaningful adult coffee!

PS. This post is inspired by a real story, but in that case my friend did let me know in advance that her toddler would join us and I did ask her to postpone our coffee, which she totally understood. Because moms understand each other’s honesty!


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The woman behind the words

My name is Carlotta, I’m 33 years old, I’m Italian, married to a Finnish guy, and together we raise Oliver (4) and Emily (2) Montessori and multilingual. We’re selling everything to travel the world.

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  1. Ame tu post, Carlotta! Al fin y al cabo la honestidad es parte de preparación para educar a nuestros hijos con el método Montessori. Yo también me siento así, y a veces siento que la sociedad nos recrimina por valorizar un tiempo para nosotras mismas. Felicitaciones también por tu trabajo sobre la formación poliglota, me ha ayudado mucho para enseñar a mi hijo el español y el portugués (mi esposo es brasileño).

    • Gracias por tu comentario, Luisa… La pienso exactamente cómo tú! Gracias, estoy preparando muchos más articulos sobre el multilingüismo (veo que vosotros también tenéis buena mezcla allí ;-), si te interesa recibirlos por correo, regístrate a mi newsletter y cada semana te enviaré un mail con lo últimos artículos. Un abrazo 🤗

  2. Che bella l’onestà tra mamme, ti fa sentire una mamma normale 😁


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