La Tela di Carlotta
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Take care of the mother behind the woman

Jan 22, 2021

No.

I no longer accept it when a mom writes to me "I don't have time for myself"; "My husband is always away"; “I'm alone on this journey”.

Always mothers.

I used to be more accepting of this narrative, but not anymore. Because I know it doesn't work in the long term.

I have known for years, since in my online course I wrote, unfiltered, what I think about the importance of nurturing the woman behind the mother, and hundreds of mothers thanked me, often in tears.

I understood that this narrative was obvious for me, but it is not for everyone.

And so here I am, repeating it.

An alternative, more conscious, long-term education can coexist with any mother, but cannot exist if the mother doesn't take care of herself first. If she doesn't CREATE time for herself. If she doesn't listen to her own needs. The biggest obstacle in motherhood is not out children's emotions, it's ours.

You often ask me how I managed to change my nature, to educate calmly, to control my emotions. In four ways:

  1. Accepting that I can't always succeed.
  2. With many small daily changes, like the ones I always tell you about on my blog.
  3. Above all: taking care of the woman behind the mother. Being selfish, constructively selfish, doing whatever helps me feel better. Often even choosing what makes me feel good over my children.
  4. Demanding that parenting be done in two, because there's two of us. Not only demanding that my husband be there, make us a priority, be as much of a parent as I am, no more and no less. But also trusting him. Letting him make do. Letting him find his own ways to calm our crying babies who wanted to fall asleep with me while I was in my dance classes or having dinner with friends.

Yes to high contact, always.

Yes to following the child, always.

Yes to evolving as a parent, always.

Yes to long-term education, always.

NO to putting others before myself, never.

Take care of the woman behind the mother. Without her, there is no mom, there is no child, there is no couple, and there is no evolution.

I come first, always. You come first, always.

Tell me what you think

Did you like it? Do you agree or disagree? I'd love to hear from you.

Podcast

On my podcast, “Educare con calma”, I talk about various topics, from Montessori to sustainability. Only in Italian!

Feb 26, 2021 • 20m
Etichette: smettiamo di mettere le persone in scatola!
Questa settimana su Educare con Calma parliamo di etichette (parole che usiamo per definirci), del perché penso che siano nocive per conversazioni e relazioni e come sostituirle nel nostro linguaggio.  Vi lascio il link all'episodio sul mio blog, dove potete anche leggere la trascrizione, trovare i post relazionati al tema di cui parlo e anche lasciarmi un commento per avviare una conversazione. Nell'episodio menziono anche questa IG TV "Basta con le etichette!" e questo vecchio post "Il papà...
34
Feb 24, 2021 • 05m
Montessori in 5': cambia le frasi in positivo
Oggi su Educare con Calma vi spiego in 5 minuti perché funziona con i bambini cambiare le frasi negative in positivo e perché può aiutare non solo a rispettare i limiti, ma anche a cambiare la mentalità. Nell'episodio menziono la collezione Montessori Express sul mio sito in cui riassumo idee che mi hanno aiutata con i miei bimbi. -- Come appoggiare il podcast: Io non faccio pubblicità e non accetto sponsor, perché le pubblicità mi danno fastidio e non voglio sottoporvi a più pubblicità di qu...
33

The blog

I write mainly about Montessori, parenthood, and multilingualism. Here are some recent posts.

Mums, dads & kids
We don't know how to be parents, we learn it everyday as we go. This is my way of motherhood, the small victories and the bitter defeats, my inconvenient truths and the endless life lessons. And also all the baby products and toys we love the most.
How to leave the playground without power struggles
This is life
Audiobooks of real-life stories for kids
Let's not project our insecurities onto our kids
Question authorities
Parents need to be constructively selfish
One more step towards self-acceptance
When you think your marriage is over after kids.
Alex
We forgot our 10-year wedding anniversary!
Montessori
One day a few years ago my husband came home and said, "Why don't we put a mattress on the floor in the baby room? It'd be much more natural". "Never" was my reply. That's how our Montessori journey started. Since then we've been living, breathing and applying the philosophy at home day in and day out, starting from ourselves. Because educating children starts from the parents.
Montessori express: change the sentences into positive
Montessori express: everything is NOT fine
My baby cries desperately in the car (15 months)
Take care of the mother behind the woman
Montessori express: ask instead of correcting
Montessori express: describe instead of criticising
An example of how I practice empathy with my kids
How I show empathy to my children
Happy 4th birthday, Emily
Montessori New Year's tradition
Living sustainably
Living sustainably for me doesn’t only mean to have a more eco-friendly lifestyle. It means to make decisions that are sustainable for our planet, the people on it, but also for our life, our lifestyle, and our happiness. It means to take any daily chance to evolve and be happier, healthier, kinder, more responsible and more caring human beings—the only sustainable way for a meaningful future.
Face yoga is an act of self love
Why you should wear the same outfit twice on Instagram
The power of creating habits (and why you should do it, even if you then break them!)
Responsible eating is the diet of the future (Would you like to teach it to your kids?)
The power of NOT complaining: can you do it for a whole month?
Clean up your planet, please!
Infographic: 8 steps to switch to cloth nappies (a guide for reluctant parents)
A personal note on happiness
A personal note on social media
A change of life always widens your horizons
New to La Tela?
I’ve prepared collections on various topics that I’ve written over the years. Perhaps you’ll find one that interests you.

Travel

We sold everything to travel the world for two years. We're currently in New Zealand.

Books

In 2020 I wrote 4 books for the Italian collection “Gioca and Impara con il metodo Montessori” curated by Grazia Honegger Fresco. The collection is a project by Il Corriere della Sera and La Gazzetta dello Sport.

We also implemented the workshops of the last 15 volumes of the collection with Oliver and Emily.

Instagram

I update Instagram almost every day to be "close" to my family far away.

Why La Tela di Carlotta?
I dreamed of the name La Tela di Carlotta. One morning I woke up and in my dreams I had created a blog named just like the American novel (Charlotte's Web). Many years and endless ups and downs later, this web of thoughts and stories is my work. It took me a long time to understand what kind of online presence I wanted and today I know: I'm transparent, I show real life, I don't advertise, I only recommend sustainable brands (and not only because they pay me) and I believe in the value of my blog and my courses—because if we don't believe in the value of our work, no one will believe in it for us.
Carlotta
Carlotta dreaming of La Tela
I know! I don't want it to be over yet either.