La Tela di Carlotta
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My son has two parents, not just one

Jan 25, 2016

Here in Spain (and I’m talking about Spain because it’s the reality I live daily) there’s a questions that everybody asks when they see me dance at the salsa disco or run on the paseo. When I tell them I go to my dance classes in the evening. When they find me in the supermarket all by myself.

Who did you leave your son with?

It always sounded to me like a strange question, especially when coming from people who know that neither my husband nor I have family here.

At the beginning I replied, He’s with my husband. Until Alex himself made me notice that Oliver is not with your husband, he’s with his dad, which should be the most normal thing on earth. But maybe not here in Spain as what I often get in reply is, “You’re so lucky!”.

Lucky, yes, I guess I am lucky. But not because I can leave Oliver with his dad. Not because Alex sacrifices his work and comes home early on Tuesday to let me do my group class and on Wednesday to let me get to my ballet class. Not because when he gets back from the office after a long day, he stays with Oliver, bathes him and cooks to let me have a break/breathe/rest. And not because he actually knows how to bathe him, where his clothes are and where to put them back, how to entertain him, how to calm him down when he cries. Not even because he takes turns with me to get up at night now that Oliver is not sleeping much.

Honestly, it might sound exceptional to some mums, but it’s rather normal to me—to us. It’s called parenting.

I’m lucky because my husband asks me to leave Oliver with him. He wants to be with his son after a long day at work.

Because he understands that my blog, my dance and my job (currently in that order) make me me and help me not to turn into a biting monster (not often, at least).

Because he’s not afraid of some crying—all babies cry, you just have to deal with it—and doesn’t handle him to me at the first tear, he actually often takes him from me when he cries.

Because when he’s alone with him, he finds ways to take care of him by himself and doesn’t call me for help—like I don’t call him.

Because he knows that he can deal with him like I do even if he doesn’t have boobs—although I do admit boobs make it so much easier, so I’m really proud of him for doing it all without!

Because even when he doesn’t know how to do something, he learns by himself, little by little, like everything and everybody. In Italy we say, “Nessuno nasce imparato” (nobody is born knowing everything).

Because he’s involved into his health, upbringing, education, well being, and even if he forget the day of the injection or he arrives late to a paediatrician visit, he know as much (or more than) I do about our values and principles, montessori, baby led weaning, sleep cycles, vaccination, colds…

I’m lucky because my husband wants to be a present figure. And because he understands that we are a team, that we are two very different and independent people who will learn to know Oliver using different methods, making different mistakes, in different ways—that maybe will seem wrong to the other at times. But always together, as a team.

Because after all, Oliver has two parents, not just one.

Tell me what you think

Did you like it? Do you agree or disagree? I'd love to hear from you.

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The blog

I write mainly about Montessori, parenthood, and multilingualism. Here are some recent posts.

Montessori
One day a few years ago my husband came home and said, "Why don't we put a mattress on the floor in the baby room? It'd be much more natural". "Never" was my reply. That's how our Montessori journey started. Since then we've been living, breathing and applying the philosophy at home day in and day out, starting from ourselves. Because educating children starts from the parents.
An example of how I practice empathy with my kids
How I show empathy to my children
Happy 4th birthday, Emily
Montessori New Year's tradition
Montessori Peace table
Audiobooks of real-life stories for kids
10k on Instagram!
Terrible twos
The organs of the body: workshop for kids
Kids understand if you give them honesty
Living sustainably
Living sustainably for me doesn’t only mean to have a more eco-friendly lifestyle. It means to make decisions that are sustainable for our planet, the people on it, but also for our life, our lifestyle, and our happiness. It means to take any daily chance to evolve and be happier, healthier, kinder, more responsible and more caring human beings—the only sustainable way for a meaningful future.
Face yoga is an act of self love
Why you should wear the same outfit twice on Instagram
The power of creating habits (and why you should do it, even if you then break them!)
Responsible eating is the diet of the future (Would you like to teach it to your kids?)
The power of NOT complaining: can you do it for a whole month?
Clean up your planet, please!
Infographic: 8 steps to switch to cloth nappies (a guide for reluctant parents)
A personal note on happiness
A personal note on social media
A change of life always widens your horizons
New to La Tela?
I’ve prepared collections on various topics that I’ve written over the years. Perhaps you’ll find one that interests you.

Travel

We sold everything to travel the world for two years. We're currently in New Zealand.

Books

In 2020 I wrote 4 books for the Italian collection “Gioca and Impara con il metodo Montessori” curated by Grazia Honegger Fresco. The collection is a project by Il Corriere della Sera and La Gazzetta dello Sport.

We also implemented the workshops of the last 15 volumes of the collection with Oliver and Emily.

Podcast

On my podcast, “Educare con calma”, I talk about various topics, from Montessori to sustainability. Only in Italian!

Jan 15, 2021 • 20m
Come "montessorizzare" la casa per dare indipendenza ai bambini
In questo episodio di Educare con Calma parliamo di come offrire indipendenza in casa attraverso l'ambiente. Vi parlo dell'importanza dell'ambiente (anche nelle scuole Montessori), di quanto sia importante apportare piccoli cambiamenti in casa per dare più indipendenza ai bambini, e anche di come purtroppo questo non sia sufficiente… Questo tema è uno dei primi che avevo in mente di trattare sul podcast… meglio tardi che mai! 🌸 -- Come appoggiare il podcast: Io non faccio pubblicità e non acc...
25
Jan 13, 2021 • 05m
Montessori in 5': Un metodo per smettere di criticare
Ho deciso di creare una piccola rubrica sul podcast in cui vi parlo di Montessori, educazione consapevole, disciplina dolce, disciplina positiva (chiamatela come volete, io la chiamo "educazione a lungo termine" 😉) e in ogni episodio tratto un tema in soli 5 minuti. In questo primo episodio vi suggerisco un metodo (infallibile) per smettere di criticare continuamente i nostri figli (a voi piacerebbe sentirvi sempre criticati e corretti?). L'episodio è nato da questa riflessione che ho fatto s...
24
Jan 8, 2021 • 31m
Viaggiare a tempo pieno: domande e risposte
In questo episodio di Educare con Calma rispondo alle vostre domande (più ripetute) sul nostro stile di vita di viaggiatori a tempo pieno: perché lo abbiamo scelto, come ci manteniamo, come permettiamo lo sviluppo sociale dei bambini e molto di più. Vi lascio anche alcuni articoli relazionati a ciò di cui parlo nell'episodio: I bambini devono uscire dalla propria zona di comfort  Vuoi un cambiamento nella tua vita? Trova la grotta! Se ti va, lasciami un commento sotto gli articoli per farmi s...
23

Instagram

I update Instagram almost every day to be "close" to my family far away.

Why La Tela di Carlotta?
I dreamed of the name La Tela di Carlotta. One morning I woke up and in my dreams I had created a blog named just like the American novel (Charlotte's Web). Many years and endless ups and downs later, this web of thoughts and stories is my work. It took me a long time to understand what kind of online presence I wanted and today I know: I'm transparent, I show real life, I don't advertise, I only recommend sustainable brands (and not only because they pay me) and I believe in the value of my blog and my courses—because if we don't believe in the value of our work, no one will believe in it for us.
Carlotta
Carlotta dreaming of La Tela
I know! I don't want it to be over yet either.