La Tela di Carlotta
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A personal note on priorities

Jun 6, 2017

This goes into my “personal notes” collection, my cobweb thinking at its best, spontaneous writings that start as a sentence on my todo list, and 10 minutes later they’re a whole non-filtered, non-edited “thought” that not always make sense to others. Definitely my favorite kind of writing.


I haven’t shared this with you, but for a few weeks (months?) now I’ve been through a bit of a rough patch. I haven’t been myself, I’ve felt very stressed and not in control, overwhelmed by the smallest commitments. I smiled less and stressed more; I’ve been less patient and more jumpy. I haven’t felt like meeting up with friends, or going to my dance classes, or working on the blog, which, in my world, are very clear warning signs that something is wrong. And the more I tried to swallow these feelings, to man up and react, to reason with myself (after all, I have an amazing life and I’m aware of it!), the more tangled my emotions got. I started finding myself often playing with the kids and thinking about blogging, or blogging and thinking about playing with the kids—I felt like my life was on autopilot, I was never in the moment.

That’s when I knew I needed to take a step back and reset my priorities. And although it sounds easy in theory, practice turned out to be very complicated: as always, I was torn between “can do” and “should do”. Because I CAN do it all—I proved it to myself so many times. But at what cost? And in what mood?

I needed to make a change in my life. For a week now, I haven’t even tried to blog during the day (just here and there, on the spur of the moment), I haven’t tried to control Emily’s naps, I haven’t opened my computer at night if I felt too tired, I haven’t written meaningful posts, I’ve let the programmed posts publish themselves without even double checking them—hard to do for a perfectionist like myself—and I haven’t checked anything off my endless todo list. In the evenings, I haven’t forced myself to go to my dance classes (and for the first time in 5 years, I decided not to participate in the end-of-year show). I haven’t taken Oliver to play dates unless I really felt like it. I haven’t even worked late at night—by 9pm I was in bed to make the most of every little bit of sleep I could get. But above all, I haven’t stressed about all the things I couldn’t do and all the friends I couldn’t see and all the play dates I missed and all the deadlines I didn’t meet.

Instead, every afternoon I played with Oliver and Emily and dedicated my full attention to them. I took the time to do house chores slowly, enjoying the process (as opposed to fulfilling a duty) of taking care of my environment. I sat more on my balcony and looked at the sea. I walked more with my dog. I even day dreamt more about our future travels, which is something I hadn’t done in a while—I think that day dreaming is a powerful tool for happiness.

For a whole week now I felt happier, it’s not just the coincidence of one good day. And it’s all because I accepted. I respected my real, undeniable priorities. I lived more in the moment. I paid more attention to what really matters—myself, my kids, my husband, my dog, my house even. I was more in touch with my emotions. I smiled and laughed more. I loved myself more.

My blogging job is a priority, of course: I’m a driven person and personal achievements (out of the family business ;-) bring me to life. But in this very special moment of my life, it simply comes after other bigger, more important priorities—like being happy, spending quality time with my kids, living slowly, loving myself, being more mindful. And this is what makes all the difference in parenting: setting your priorities right.

Rewind. Reset. Play.

Comments

Ashley Frost • Jun 13, 2017

You ar doing all the right things. Always listen to your body :) x

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The blog

I write mainly about Montessori, parenthood, and multilingualism. Here are some recent posts.

Montessori
One day a few years ago my husband came home and said, "Why don't we put a mattress on the floor in the baby room? It'd be much more natural". "Never" was my reply. That's how our Montessori journey started. Since then we've been living, breathing and applying the philosophy at home day in and day out, starting from ourselves. Because educating children starts from the parents.
An example of how I practice empathy with my kids
How I show empathy to my children
Happy 4th birthday, Emily
Montessori New Year's tradition
Montessori Peace table
Audiobooks of real-life stories for kids
10k on Instagram!
Terrible twos
The organs of the body: workshop for kids
Kids understand if you give them honesty
Living sustainably
Living sustainably for me doesn’t only mean to have a more eco-friendly lifestyle. It means to make decisions that are sustainable for our planet, the people on it, but also for our life, our lifestyle, and our happiness. It means to take any daily chance to evolve and be happier, healthier, kinder, more responsible and more caring human beings—the only sustainable way for a meaningful future.
Face yoga is an act of self love
Why you should wear the same outfit twice on Instagram
The power of creating habits (and why you should do it, even if you then break them!)
Responsible eating is the diet of the future (Would you like to teach it to your kids?)
The power of NOT complaining: can you do it for a whole month?
Clean up your planet, please!
Infographic: 8 steps to switch to cloth nappies (a guide for reluctant parents)
A personal note on happiness
A personal note on social media
A change of life always widens your horizons
New to La Tela?
I’ve prepared collections on various topics that I’ve written over the years. Perhaps you’ll find one that interests you.

Travel

We sold everything to travel the world for two years. We're currently in New Zealand.

Books

In 2020 I wrote 4 books for the Italian collection “Gioca and Impara con il metodo Montessori” curated by Grazia Honegger Fresco. The collection is a project by Il Corriere della Sera and La Gazzetta dello Sport.

We also implemented the workshops of the last 15 volumes of the collection with Oliver and Emily.

Podcast

On my podcast, “Educare con calma”, I talk about various topics, from Montessori to sustainability. Only in Italian!

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Why La Tela di Carlotta?
I dreamed of the name La Tela di Carlotta. One morning I woke up and in my dreams I had created a blog named just like the American novel (Charlotte's Web). Many years and endless ups and downs later, this web of thoughts and stories is my work. It took me a long time to understand what kind of online presence I wanted and today I know: I'm transparent, I show real life, I don't advertise, I only recommend sustainable brands (and not only because they pay me) and I believe in the value of my blog and my courses—because if we don't believe in the value of our work, no one will believe in it for us.
Carlotta
Carlotta dreaming of La Tela
I know! I don't want it to be over yet either.