La Tela di Carlotta
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Oliver sleeps in his own room at three months

Jun 13, 2015

Last night Oliver slept in his montessori room and in his homemade big-boy montessori bed for the first time. He’s three months old, and many could—and will—argue that he’s too young, it’s too soon, too risky, too everything. But we decided to give it a try for two reasons: 1. I had a feeling his cot was too small, and noticed he wakes himself up by crashing against the walls, and 2. We decided for a Montessori bed, and there’s no space for a mattress on the floor in our room.

Last night felt like it was the right time.

Did I like it? Not at all — and that’s why this post was written at 4.37am.

Oliver was ready!

We had been thinking about it for a while, and decided that we would switch him to his room as soon as he told us he was ready (an important part of the Montessori philosophy is “Follow the Child”, and read his “signs”). Oliver has been waking up only once a night — and often because he crashes into the cot — for a few weeks now and to us that’s a sign that he’s ready to sleep in his room.

The apprehensive mum in me soon came out. A month ago, the official excuse was “We still don’t have the baby monitors, we can’t hear him”.

Then the monitors came. “We need to try them during the day”. Two days later—they worked perfectly fine—“I’m still not sure if we can hear him”. Three days later, “let’s try at the weekend”. After the weekend, “let’s try this weekend”. And so on.

Last night, Oliver was asleep in my arms and Alex suggested we put him in his montessori room. Lots of excuses crossed my mind but none was good enough.

It was not easy to leave him there!

Said, done. He was finally sleeping in his room. And that’s when the back and forth started. Before falling asleep myself, I went to his room at least seven times. Three times I asked Alex to go and whisper something in the monitor. One of these times, I couldn’t hear him. “Maybe we should try tomorrow”? “Tomorrow it’ll be exactly the same. You just have to get used to it,” he said patiently.

Alex was right. Oliver’s independence starts when my apprehension ends. I just have to get used to it. Because there will be many more separations in our life—the first day I’ll leave him with somebody else than Alex, the first day of school, his first night out, when he’ll move out, his first job abroad, his wedding.

An hour ago, I went to check on him again—to be fair I did see Alex go himself a few times as well ;-) A stinky poo smell welcomed me. So I took him up, hugged and eskimo kissed him, and put him on the changing table still semi-asleep. When he opened his eyes, he gave me the biggest smile ever and said “Uuuhhh”. It was the first time he smiled and spoke to me in the middle of the night. And maybe that was his way of telling me, “I’m fine here, mummy, I really like it. Now change my nappy and go get some rest”. I put him back to sleep, kissed him for a few minutes and left him in his big boy bed. This time, I felt happier.

Again, this is just the first of many separations. And it’s true, Oliver is there happily asleep in his room and I’m here wide awake, writing. But it’s worth it if it means that I’ll learn to be a non apprehensive mother who will raise an independent child.

Good night, my baby boy, sleep tight.

SEQUEL

The following two nights, Oliver pulled two all-nighters! He slept from 9.30pm to 6.30am straight.

There we go! His Bednest crib was probably becoming too small for our little giant and he just needed more space to move around without waking up! Live and learn, right?

Tell me what you think

Did you like it? Do you agree or disagree? I'd love to hear from you.

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The blog

I write mainly about Montessori, parenthood, and multilingualism. Here are some recent posts.

Mums, dads & kids
We don't know how to be parents, we learn it everyday as we go. This is my way of motherhood, the small victories and the bitter defeats, my inconvenient truths and the endless life lessons. And also all the baby products and toys we love the most.
How to leave the playground without power struggles
This is life
Audiobooks of real-life stories for kids
Let's not project our insecurities onto our kids
Question authorities
Parents need to be constructively selfish
One more step towards self-acceptance
When you think your marriage is over after kids.
Alex
We forgot our 10-year wedding anniversary!
Montessori
One day a few years ago my husband came home and said, "Why don't we put a mattress on the floor in the baby room? It'd be much more natural". "Never" was my reply. That's how our Montessori journey started. Since then we've been living, breathing and applying the philosophy at home day in and day out, starting from ourselves. Because educating children starts from the parents.
Montessori express: change the sentences into positive
Montessori express: everything is NOT fine
My baby cries desperately in the car (15 months)
Take care of the mother behind the woman
Montessori express: ask instead of correcting
Montessori express: describe instead of criticising
An example of how I practice empathy with my kids
How I show empathy to my children
Happy 4th birthday, Emily
Montessori New Year's tradition
Living sustainably
Living sustainably for me doesn’t only mean to have a more eco-friendly lifestyle. It means to make decisions that are sustainable for our planet, the people on it, but also for our life, our lifestyle, and our happiness. It means to take any daily chance to evolve and be happier, healthier, kinder, more responsible and more caring human beings—the only sustainable way for a meaningful future.
Face yoga is an act of self love
Why you should wear the same outfit twice on Instagram
The power of creating habits (and why you should do it, even if you then break them!)
Responsible eating is the diet of the future (Would you like to teach it to your kids?)
The power of NOT complaining: can you do it for a whole month?
Clean up your planet, please!
Infographic: 8 steps to switch to cloth nappies (a guide for reluctant parents)
A personal note on happiness
A personal note on social media
A change of life always widens your horizons
New to La Tela?
I’ve prepared collections on various topics that I’ve written over the years. Perhaps you’ll find one that interests you.

Travel

We sold everything to travel the world for two years. We're currently in New Zealand.

Books

In 2020 I wrote 4 books for the Italian collection “Gioca and Impara con il metodo Montessori” curated by Grazia Honegger Fresco. The collection is a project by Il Corriere della Sera and La Gazzetta dello Sport.

We also implemented the workshops of the last 15 volumes of the collection with Oliver and Emily.

Instagram

I update Instagram almost every day to be "close" to my family far away.

Why La Tela di Carlotta?
I dreamed of the name La Tela di Carlotta. One morning I woke up and in my dreams I had created a blog named just like the American novel (Charlotte's Web). Many years and endless ups and downs later, this web of thoughts and stories is my work. It took me a long time to understand what kind of online presence I wanted and today I know: I'm transparent, I show real life, I don't advertise, I only recommend sustainable brands (and not only because they pay me) and I believe in the value of my blog and my courses—because if we don't believe in the value of our work, no one will believe in it for us.
Carlotta
Carlotta dreaming of La Tela
I know! I don't want it to be over yet either.