La Tela di Carlotta
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The NOT-to-do list for moms

Sep 27, 2016

For the series ”Sometimes they come back”, today I’ll leave you in the hands of a dear friend of mine from university and a super-duper working mum of Ginevra and Federico. Her name is Ludovica, she’s from Torino and after a very eventful trip to the beach alone with her two kiddies, she got inspired to write a piece for Team Mama: the mommy NOT-to-do list!

I loved it, thanks Ludi!


  • Don't think you're wonder woman!It's ok to ask for help, especially for what concerns chores and cooking. And if that means that you have to spend some money, trust me, it will be worth it!
  • Don't expect your children to ALWAYS love each other and ALWAYS play together!There will be times when they'll want to kill each other and others when they'll cuddle… accept it all.
  • Don't go out for a long walk if you're not 100% sure that they'll make it.The other day at the seaside I had the brilliant idea of going to a new beach for a change. We all took our bicycles and started this nice coastal walk. Turned out that Federico was way too slow: thank God I had his stroller with me so I put him (and his bicycle) in it and made it to this nice beach. On the way back Ginevra was too tired so I ended up tying some towels and pulling her bicycle while pushing the stroller… I looked (and felt) like a sherpa!
  • Don't expect your children to ALWAYS want to share toys.Having two units of some toys can be very useful and relaxing at times.
  • Don't go to the playground alone with them.That is unless you're a very relaxed kind of mom, or you're up for a very hard training session in which you'll probably lose 5kg in two hours.
  • Don't feel guilty for not spending enough exclusive moments with them.Mums are very good at feeling guilty. No matter what we do and how we do it, we always feel guilty. When the second child arrives, you can't take care of both of them the same way you took care of your first one, but you've given them the greatest gift of all: a buddy for life!
  • Don't get (too) scared when you lock yourself out of the house with the kids inside.Stay calm, talk to them through the door and, most likely, everything will be alright.
  • Don't forget to lock the car (and take the key) when you go to the park.Once I was too busy helping Ginevra on her new bicycle and checking that Federico wouldn't get smashed by a car while running all around the parking lot, so I forgot the car key in the keyhole and left… just like that, with my key right there in my car door for anybody to help themselves!
  • Don't be upset about the way you look.I mean… you had two or more children in your belly. Who cares if you're not in great shape yet!? Tell you what: treat yourself with some good chocolate and you'll feel better! ;)
  • Don't forget to do something for yourself.It could be having a coffee with a friend, a walk by yourself, attending your favorite yoga or music class, going shopping alone… you need it! You'll feel guilty for leaving your kids, but you'll actually do it for them too… children need happy mommies!

Tell me what you think

Did you like it? Do you agree or disagree? I'd love to hear from you.

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The blog

I write mainly about Montessori, parenthood, and multilingualism. Here are some recent posts.

Montessori
One day a few years ago my husband came home and said, "Why don't we put a mattress on the floor in the baby room? It'd be much more natural". "Never" was my reply. That's how our Montessori journey started. Since then we've been living, breathing and applying the philosophy at home day in and day out, starting from ourselves. Because educating children starts from the parents.
Terrible twos
The organs of the body: workshop for kids
Kids understand if you give them honesty
Bean and seed mosaic
I'm not perfect. I'm aware
DIY yoga cards for kids
Children at the restaurant: let's recalibrate expectations
Don't ask your children to share their toys
Those "good job" that erode our children's confidence
Our Montessori birthday
Living sustainably
Living sustainably for me doesn’t only mean to have a more eco-friendly lifestyle. It means to make decisions that are sustainable for our planet, the people on it, but also for our life, our lifestyle, and our happiness. It means to take any daily chance to evolve and be happier, healthier, kinder, more responsible and more caring human beings—the only sustainable way for a meaningful future.
Face yoga is an act of self love
Why you should wear the same outfit twice on Instagram
The power of creating habits (and why you should do it, even if you then break them!)
Responsible eating is the diet of the future (Would you like to teach it to your kids?)
The power of NOT complaining: can you do it for a whole month?
Clean up your planet, please!
Infographic: 8 steps to switch to cloth nappies (a guide for reluctant parents)
A personal note on happiness
A personal note on social media
A change of life always widens your horizons
New to La Tela?
I’ve prepared collections on various topics that I’ve written over the years. Perhaps you’ll find one that interests you.

Travel

We sold everything to travel the world for two years. We're currently in New Zealand.

Books

In 2020 I wrote 4 books for the Italian collection “Gioca and Impara con il metodo Montessori” curated by Grazia Honegger Fresco. The collection is a project by Il Corriere della Sera and La Gazzetta dello Sport.

We also implemented the workshops of the last 15 volumes of the collection with Oliver and Emily.

Podcast

On my podcast, “Educare con calma”, I talk about various topics, from Montessori to sustainability. Only in Italian!

Nov 27, 2020 • 33m
La bugia del Natale: perché abbiamo scelto di non raccontarla
In questo episodio racconto come viviamo noi il Natale da famiglia non credente e che applica i principi Montessori e rispondo alle domande più frequenti che mi sono state fatte in queste settimane che ci avvicinano alle vacanze natalizie: "Parli di Babbo Natale con i bambini? Come vivete il Natale in casa? Fate regali? Non ti manca la magia del Natale?" …  Nell'episodio menziono questi articoli che vi invito a leggere:  Natale e Montessori: incompatibili? Natale e Montessori: incompatibili? ...
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Nov 19, 2020 • 25m
Pene e vulva: normalizziamo le parole
Con questo episodio inizio una serie di conversazioni a tema sessuale, perché credo che in Italia se ne debba parlare di più, soprattutto tra famiglie con bambini. L'educazione sessuale è un aspetto importante dell'educazione dei bambini e deve iniziare da piccoli. Un ottimo primo passo è proprio quello di normalizzare parole "imbarazzanti" come pene e vulva e sostituirle alle più comuni pisellino e patatina. Nell'episodio dico che non avevo trovato la storia originale in spagnolo della "gall...
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Nov 13, 2020 • 13m
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In questo breve episodio rifletto su una frase che ho sentito/mi è stata detta spesso per difendere l'educazione tradizionale (da genitori che crescono i propri figli con metodi più tradizionali come le minacce, i castighi, le punizioni ecc). Ti suggerisco anche come risponderei io. La citazione che menziono nell'episodio è una frase che disse la madre di Jane Goodall, antropologa inglese che ha dedicato la sua vita allo studio degli scimpanzé: "Se le persone non sono d’accordo con te, la cos...
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Why La Tela di Carlotta?
I dreamed of the name La Tela di Carlotta. One morning I woke up and in my dreams I had created a blog named just like the American novel (Charlotte's Web). Many years and endless ups and downs later, this web of thoughts and stories is my work. It took me a long time to understand what kind of online presence I wanted and today I know: I'm transparent, I show real life, I don't advertise, I only recommend sustainable brands (and not only because they pay me) and I believe in the value of my blog and my courses—because if we don't believe in the value of our work, no one will believe in it for us.
Carlotta
Carlotta dreaming of La Tela
I know! I don't want it to be over yet either.