La Tela di Carlotta
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When facts change, do you change with them? (Team Mama)

Feb 1, 2016

Thank you, Greta, for this lovely, artistic photo :-)

Today I’m starting a new column on La Tela. I noticed there are so many mums that have something interesting to say, who want to say something, who like writing but just don’t do it, who would take the chance of being featured on a blog at the drop of a hat. These column is for all those mums, Team Mama. If you’re one of them, please write at [email protected].

Today’s post was written by Greta, a lovely first-time German mum of a gorgeous boy.


When facts change… (Post by Greta)

Life is continuous change. It appears to be the only constant factor in mine, at least. I have lived many changes. The most recent being becoming a mother. And so, after my first year of being a novice in this field has passed and I am slowly starting to find a bit of ground under my feet, Carlotta has kindly offered me the opportunity to share some of my experiences and reflections with you.

Firstly, let me tell you that I have an amazing son who is now 14 months old, beautiful on the inside and on the outside, who makes me and his daddy incredibly proud.

This very same amazing little human being has also put me through an interesting experiment; What happens if you are sleep deprived for 14 months? Well, the ongoing absence of sleep does interesting things to you. In my case, it turns me into a biting zombie on some days and into a mushy, needy, crying little girl on others.

Naturally, from where I stand, this feels rather logical to me and sharing it with people should feel liberating. You tell them what you’re going through and everyone just backs off and admires you for this gigantic effort. NO! That is not what happens when you are a new mum. Everyone has got something to say, some advice to give to you. Don’t they understand that this is the last thing you need!?! Aren’t they aware of the fact that there can be too much of a good thing!?! And has no one ever told them that zombies bite!?!

I have this friend, one of my best friends, mother to two gorgeous kids, who’s trying her best to support me. And she does that by continuously giving me—you guessed it—her advice!A few days back, after I complained about missing moments with my man, she kindly gave me her advice again. With best intentions, of course. This included things like; why am I still breastfeeding; wasn’t I going to stop after one year; why can’t I just make my life easy; people are feeling sorry for me; and—the best of all—maybe I wasn’t ready to be a mum.

I felt cornered and hurt. This is what one of my best friends thinks of me?

It made me think. What you do when the facts change, when your life, your ideas, your world changes to a point that alienates your best friends? Do you try? Are you able to not only see your own shortcomings, but elevate them to the point where you allow a friendship to be built on ignorance?

Or do you actually allow yourself to change your mind about friends, family, life and most of all about yourself, about who you used to be to welcome your new you. You who is now a mum, different from any other mum; you who wants to know, but needs to see for yourself; who doesn’t give a damn about easy, but all about right; who redefines friendships, who builds on the basis of acceptance and knowledge.

I’m thinking I might just allow for that change of mind. And I might just say “Until another time, my dear, dear friend”.

If you want to share your thoughts, write at [email protected] Anonymous or not, you decide :-)

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The blog

I write mainly about Montessori, parenthood, and multilingualism. Here are some recent posts.

Montessori
One day a few years ago my husband came home and said, "Why don't we put a mattress on the floor in the baby room? It'd be much more natural". "Never" was my reply. That's how our Montessori journey started. Since then we've been living, breathing and applying the philosophy at home day in and day out, starting from ourselves. Because educating children starts from the parents.
Kids understand if you give them honesty
Bean and seed mosaic
I'm not perfect. I'm aware
DIY yoga cards for kids
Children at the restaurant: let's recalibrate expectations
Don't ask your children to share their toys
Those "good job" that erode our children's confidence
Our Montessori birthday
Two alternatives to screens that my kids love
Using fear and threats to control children is never right!
Living sustainably
Living sustainably for me doesn’t only mean to have a more eco-friendly lifestyle. It means to make decisions that are sustainable for our planet, the people on it, but also for our life, our lifestyle, and our happiness. It means to take any daily chance to evolve and be happier, healthier, kinder, more responsible and more caring human beings—the only sustainable way for a meaningful future.
Face yoga is an act of self love
Why you should wear the same outfit twice on Instagram
The power of creating habits (and why you should do it, even if you then break them!)
Responsible eating is the diet of the future (Would you like to teach it to your kids?)
The power of NOT complaining: can you do it for a whole month?
Clean up your planet, please!
Infographic: 8 steps to switch to cloth nappies (a guide for reluctant parents)
A personal note on happiness
A personal note on social media
A change of life always widens your horizons
New to La Tela?
I’ve prepared collections on various topics that I’ve written over the years. Perhaps you’ll find one that interests you.

Travel

We sold everything to travel the world for two years. We're currently in New Zealand.

Books

In 2020 I wrote 4 books for the Italian collection “Gioca and Impara con il metodo Montessori” curated by Grazia Honegger Fresco. The collection is a project by Il Corriere della Sera and La Gazzetta dello Sport.

We also implemented the workshops of the last 15 volumes of the collection with Oliver and Emily.

Podcast

On my podcast, “Educare con calma”, I talk about various topics, from Montessori to sustainability. Only in Italian!

Nov 19, 2020 • 25m
Pene e vulva: normalizziamo le parole
Con questo episodio inizio una serie di conversazioni a tema sessuale, perché credo che in Italia se ne debba parlare di più, soprattutto tra famiglie con bambini. L'educazione sessuale è un aspetto importante dell'educazione dei bambini e deve iniziare da piccoli. Un ottimo primo passo è proprio quello di normalizzare parole "imbarazzanti" come pene e vulva e sostituirle alle più comuni pisellino e patatina. Nell'episodio dico che non avevo trovato la storia originale in spagnolo della "gall...
16
Nov 13, 2020 • 13m
"Non sono cresciuto Montessori e sono venuto su bene lo stesso!"
In questo breve episodio rifletto su una frase che ho sentito/mi è stata detta spesso per difendere l'educazione tradizionale (da genitori che crescono i propri figli con metodi più tradizionali come le minacce, i castighi, le punizioni ecc). Ti suggerisco anche come risponderei io. La citazione che menziono nell'episodio è una frase che disse la madre di Jane Goodall, antropologa inglese che ha dedicato la sua vita allo studio degli scimpanzé: "Se le persone non sono d’accordo con te, la cos...
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Nov 6, 2020 • 16m
La rabbia, le urla dei genitori e una storia tibetana
In questo episodio sono stata ispirata da una storia tibetana a parlare di rabbia e del perché urliamo quando siamo arrabbiati. Riconoscere i perché e analizzare le mie reazioni quando urlo è stato per me il primo passo per imparare a gestire la rabbia. Nell'episodio menziono questo articolo: Spiegare come funziona il cervello aiuta i bambini a controllare le loro emozioni. Mi trovi anche su www.lateladicarlotta.com e su Facebook e Instagram come @lateladicarlottablog.
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Instagram

I update Instagram almost every day to be "close" to my family far away.

Why La Tela di Carlotta?
I dreamed of the name La Tela di Carlotta. One morning I woke up and in my dreams I had created a blog named just like the American novel (Charlotte's Web). Many years and endless ups and downs later, this web of thoughts and stories is my work. It took me a long time to understand what kind of online presence I wanted and today I know: I'm transparent, I show real life, I don't advertise, I only recommend sustainable brands (and not only because they pay me) and I believe in the value of my blog and my courses—because if we don't believe in the value of our work, no one will believe in it for us.
Carlotta
Carlotta dreaming of La Tela
I know! I don't want it to be over yet either.